The not-so-unique idea behind this post has been sitting in my head for a long while, but finally the pieces came together in just the right way. Or so I hope.
You know, in this day and age, especially on social media we are so used to parading the happiness.
We are surrounded by motivational speakers, positive self-help books, you-can-do-it type of content, constantly pushing us to be "our best selves."
However, for all the wrong reasons, more often than not this ends up making us feel obliged to be happy, because that's what you do, that's what successful and accomplished person ought to be doing. I mean, hey, look at you, you've got everything to be happy, exercise your right, grow as a person, work on yourself, stay positive! Yada, yada, yada.
Instead of actually feeling happy, we do our best to SEEM happy.
Success, accomplishment and "being your best self" are cultivated like rare kind of orchids in a greenhouse.
And let me tell you, that's such a bullshit. On days when happiness seems like a distant memory, the least you want to do is masking it by a fake smile and bravados.
Cut yourself some slack, bro.
Being real is accepting your own shortcomings, flaws and realities, limitations and whatever else you have to deal with in your unique situation.
This always reminds me of a brilliant dialogue between Holly Golightly and Paul Varjak from Capote's timeless Breakfast at Tiffany's about "getting the mean reds" and finding your very own way to escape them. Not pretending to do so, but rather overcoming it as it works best for you.
Thing is, no one wants to feel miserable, afraid or lost. Unless you are an avid masochist, which is fine, too, whatever floats your boat, darling.
But there's nothing worse than having to fake the emotion that just isn't there yet. "Fake it till you make it" is not exactly the healthiest method here.
Feeling unhappy, just like feeling happy is what being human is all about.
I myself - especially as someone with a long-term disability striving to promote the most positive image of a successful woman in a wheelchair - always thought that this right here is your most distilled type of
bravery, i.e. to put on a million-dollar smile, show up, nail it and, God forbid, anyone finds out about the sadness that you are carrying in your trendy little backpack.
But over the years I came to learn - and learn the hard way - that it takes a lot more courage to actually admit that you are not okay. At least, to yourself.
It's okay to feel sad, it's okay to feel happy, it's okay to feel everything in between.
You are just a Human. Embrace it.
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